Incident #11

Today I woke up to discover I needed more coffee, so I went to the grocery store and bought a bag of a dark roast houseblend. I got home put some beans in the grinder and filled my filter and poured water into the coffee maker and turned it on. The coffee began brewing and smelled great, I could already taste the first sip. I glanced at the bag of coffee as I put it away and a word in green caught my eye "Decaffeinated" Awesome, I needed my morning caffeine and I went and bought myself coffee, sans the caffeine. Let's see if I can trick my body with a placebo. I needed coffee!

Incident # 10

Today I woke up and wanted coffee, as per usual. I ground the beans and put them in the filter and turned on the coffee pot and went off to shower. After my shower I grabbed my favorite coffee mug and went to the coffee pot to find it was empty. I checked to make sure it was on and it was. Then I realized I could even hear it going, but still no coffee. I figured out the problem after examining the pot. I hadn't put any water in it. I needed coffee.

Incident #9

Today I decided to use my french press. I put water in my tea kettle and waited for it to make that hissing sound. Five minutes passed and no hissing. Ten minutes passed and no hissing. I walked into the kitchen to realize I hadn't put the lid on the tea kettle. I needed coffee.

Incident #8

Today I was in the middle of the clean up part of packing and moving. I was vacuuming when suddenly my vacuum would no longer reach from the outlet it was plugged into. I walked across the room unplugged it and plugged it into another outlet. The vacuum still wouldn't reach. I looked back to realize I had moved the cord to the lower plug of the same outlet. I needed coffee.

Incident #7

Last night I worked an overnight shift. When I left this morning I walked out to my car to find my windows were down because I never put them up when I arrived at work some 10 hours ago. I needed coffee.

Incident #6

Today I stopped by a coffee shop (surprise) and handed the cashier my debit card. She took it and swiped it and then looked at it and handed it back to me. It was my driver's license. I needed coffee. (Though since the cashier took it and tried to swipe it I argue she needed coffee too.)

Incident #5

Today I couldn't find my keys. I looked high and low for 15 minutes (which is a long time to look for keys in my small apartment). Finally I found them. They were in my hand. I needed coffee.

Incident #4

Today I grabbed my toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste. I wet my toothbrush and squeezed toothpaste on to the brush and began brushing. I then realized I had put Aquafor (healing ointment) on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. I needed coffee.

Incident #3

Today I tried pouring my cereal into my dog's bowl and my dog's food into my cereal bowl. I needed coffee.

Incident #2

Today before leaving my apartment I made sure I had my phone and my wallet (so I could buy my coffee) and locked my apartment. As the door clicked shut I realized I had not checked to make sure I had my keys. I needed coffee.

Incident #1

I went to the McDonald's drive-thru on my way to work. Ordered a coffe and drove around to the first window and paid for it. I then drove right past the 2nd window and continued to work, arriving without the coffee I just paid for. I needed coffee.