Incident #20

I woke up late this morning and decided I'd grab coffee on my way to work. I rushed around my morning routine and grabbed my car keys and off I went without any bumps. Until my house came out of nowhere and attacked my passenger side mirror on my way out of my drive way. A little bit of duct tape and some curse words later and I was on my way again. I needed coffee.

Incident #19

This morning I made coffee as per usual and then got dressed while I waited for it to brew. When I returned to the kitchen there was coffee all over the counter and floor. I had forgotten to put the coffee pot back into the coffee maker. I needed coffee.

Incident #18

I went to Lowe's (because that's the best way to start out a Sunday morning) for various items for my rental unit. I picked up some paint and the Lowe's employee asked me what I was painting. I replied with what I thought was a reasonable answer "A wall." She looked at me as if I were crazy and said "I would hope so!" followed by laughter. Apparently I was supposed to be more specific. I just didn't understand. I needed coffee.

Work Coffee

Also known as Ewwwww. At least it gets me through that 2:30 blah hump.

Incident #17

This morning began like any other. Alarm went off, I promptly hit snooze, it persisted 9 minutes later and I got up. I assume I went about my usual business of showering, dressing, taking the dog out, but to be honest I can't really remember anything until that first sip of coffee. I was running late so I grabbed a cup from the coffee place around the corner and was drinking it while driving. Everything was fine until the lid popped off and hot coffee poured (it was more of a pour than a spill) onto my lap. I guess I was not awake enough to put the lid on properly. I needed coffee.

Incident #16

This morning I had a meeting with my supervisor. I went about my normal routine: wake up (grumpy), start coffee (we already know something's going to go wrong between this step and drinking coffee), walk dog (or dog walks me), shower (space out in shower for unknown amount of time), get dressed, feed dog (I only added this so animal lovers didn't get all upset and think I starve my dog--I don't), pour coffee in travel mug, and go to work. I was running a little late so I hadn't had time yet to actually sip my coffee (also it was probably still piping hot). Approximately 15 minutes into my drive to work I realized I was headed to our Battle Creek location when I was supposed to be meeting my supervisor in our Kalamazoo location. I needed coffee.

Incident #15

I woke up feeling zombie-like and dragged myself towards the coffee machine. I ground my fair trade and organic beans, got the water and the filter and pressed brew. A few minutes later when the machine beeped to alert me the coffee was done brewing I dragged myself back towards it. I looked at the pot sideways because it was clear. I guess I'll be drinking freshly brewed water since I forgot to pour the coffee grounds into the filter. I needed coffee.

Incident #13

I was trying to decide what to make for breakfast today. I walked into the kitchen and stood there for awhile trying to remember what I went there to do. In my mind I ran through a checklist: Coffee was brewing, and the travel mug was out and ready so what could it be. After 5 minutes of idle standing I returned to the living room where I suddenly remembered (thanks to a growl from my stomach) that I wanted to make breakfast. Back to the kitchen and I made a yogurt, fruit and granola parfait and packed it for work. I poured delicious organic and fair trade coffee into my new travel mug and grabbed my keys and headed to work. As I arrived I realized my delicious breakfast and coffee were likely still on the counter or being enjoyed by my dog. Oh Mondays. I needed coffee.

Incident #12

This morning I realized I needed to iron my pants before work because despite being wrinkle resistant they were wrinkly. I got the ironing board out and the iron and waited for the iron to heat up. I began ironing the pants...the khakis didn't react to being pressed by the iron, so I pressed harder. After 15 minutes I ran out of patience just to realize I had never plugged in the iron. I needed coffee.